In the weeks before a conference, my excitement and happy thoughts twist into nervous doubts. What if I get there and no one talks to me? What if I flop all my appointments, or end up with agents and editors I don’t even want?
What am I trying to write, anyway?
I forget the wonderful conference experiences I’ve had in the past. The deep friendships I’ve begun and the mentors I’ve met. Every time I return home from a writer’s conference, I’m miles ahead of where I was, even if it’s just in inspiration. But these memories fade from my mind as the next event approaches.
As I prepared for ACFW 2017, I slipped into this same cycle of doubts. The weeks sped by, and I wasn’t feeling any closer to ready. I planned to pitch a novel in a new genre, which seemed a great idea in the spring, but now looked like a dangerous mountain hike through unfamiliar terrain. I scheduled a critique with a writing coach to help me polish the story, and tried to stay positive while waiting anxiously for her response.
It came, and within a few hours, I knew this novel needed a major reworking. What was I going to do? The conference was mere weeks away. I’d planned to pitch the story to several professionals I admire who might not be interested in my other completed novel. It was too late to change my appointments.
My first instinct was to interrogate God. He’d led me to this genre and this novel. Why did he let me pour myself out into an unstable story structure? And if I really was a writer, I’d have known from the beginning it wasn’t going to work.
Then I read a meditation by Samantha Trenkamp for Daughters of Promise Magazine. She told the story of Joshua and Caleb and the ten cowardly spies. The ten spies saw giants, and reported that the Israelites could never take the land. They forgot that God was on their side. Caleb and Joshua realized how small men are compared to God, and, instead of giants, they saw enemies that were too big to miss. Why were the two reports so different? It was a matter of perspective.
All my fear and panic about conferences comes from viewing them the wrong way, without God by my side. Writers conferences are stuffed full of opportunities to learn, befriend, and network with passionate and talented writers, editors, agents, and publishers. It’s impossible not to gain wisdom and inspiration in such a place, even if it doesn’t go exactly the way I want. Though it’s painful when plans must change right when it seems crucial to have it all together, this is God teaching me to rely on him.
Without God, the writing conference giant may crush me. But with God, I can’t miss such a huge target. I’ll come away with new friends, fresh inspiration, and a deeper understanding of the writing craft. And that is more valuable than any perfect pitch could be.
Bio: I’m Sheri Yutzy, and I’m a storyteller who believes that words hold unimaginable power. I’m passionate about writing life-changing literature for people of all ages. I write and edit for Daughters of Promise, an Anabaptist women’s magazine, and am working to get my first two young adult fantasy novels published.
https://www.facebook.com/sherilynyutzy
Image link: https://pixabay.com/en/fantasy-surreal-child-baby-hand-2695323/By Sheri Yutzy
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2 Comments
Congratulations! Maybe we should add PERSPECTIVE to the three Ps of writing and make it four.
Thanks,
Jean
Yes, maybe we should! 🙂 The deeper I get into the writing industry, the easier it seems to forget who it’s all for.