Shifting the Paradigm by Rob Burnside

I am not a music critic – that would be a dream job for me, to listen to music and write about it. If I could do that while walking thru a city or charming small town or while hiking, that would be Heaven on Earth for me. I have spent much time lately listening to David Gray. He’s been around for a long time, but I’ve only casually listened to him until recently. If I were to take my best shot at summarizing his music, I would say that it has a quality of melancholy, wishful whimsy. Tonight, I keep hitting replay on the song “Snow in Vegas.” Why this song on this night? Maybe because it’s currently snowing here in greater Cincinnati. Or maybe because it is on my iTunes right now…that’s easy enough isn’t it?

Ok, it’s more than that. I haven’t blogged in well over a year. Why? Of course, since I haven’t blogged in quite some time, I don’t even know who might still be interested in our adoption journey, the usual topic for my discourse, but it’s time for me to get moving again. I stopped blogging and telling my story because since the adoption part of our journey was complete, there didn’t seem to be much to share. And since they had been adjusting without any traumatic events, the blog seemed superfluous and I assumed that I had nothing that anyone cared to read about anymore.

I missed the point on why I should be doing it anyway. It isn’t just about sharing our adoption story or because I want people to read about our lives. It should be because I have something to say, for me. Because I have a voice and can use it perhaps to connect, but mainly, I can use it for me.

So, “Snow in Vegas” is perfect. It’s about a paradigm shift. How about this?

“And just when I was thinking, We’d come about as far/As this old road could take us, Time to pull on over baby, Yeah just stop the car, and it falls like snow in Vegas.”

If I could write music, that’s what I’d write. It’s brilliant. It encapsulates where I am in my life. This blog is entitled “The Long Journey Home,”  fitting for the completion of our adoption journeys. There will be no more of those. I’m tapped out. I love my children. I am blessed to have brought them in my home, and I treasure the journey of getting them here. But that season has ended.

My long journey home hasn’t.

The paradigm has shifted. The road hasn’t taken me as far as it can; it just looks different now. It enters unchartered waters, and now it is time for me to tell my story as a father who loves his children and isn’t as good as I need to be for them. I can tell my story as a husband who is more in love with his wife, who is more beautiful today than when we met 26 years ago. My story is about a school administrator who loves the challenge of being at a great school and having the desire to be at the top of my profession. And my story is about a man who loves and trusts God but struggles to keep the carnage of life from obstructing my walk to and with Him.

I don’t often find strength by sitting in the church pews or by serving in my church. Try as I might, I don’t commit myself to bible study to the point that I am consistently fortified. I should. I try. I do all of these things. But I fail. Often.

I find strength in the struggle. I find strength in the walk. I love and embrace the journey.

Someone shared with me the hook of a book today in which the author stated that he was writing the book due to the urgency of having a terminal illness. Life. We are terminal the moment we are born.

It is time I embrace my terminal illness. It is time to embrace the journey and begin sharing and connecting again. I am still on the The Long Journey Home. Like snow in Vegas, the paradigm has shifted and very basically put, that’s ok. That’s a good thing. Tonight is a special night for me. I’ve been standing still. Tonight is the night that I get moving again.

I invite you to join me.

Rob Burnside is an educator who has been an English teacher, coach and currently is a school administrator. Most significantly, he is a father of 6 children, ages 13-19. During his free time, he enjoys hiking, biking, seeing the world, and listening to music. In addition to spending his time pursuing these passions, his goal for his future is to serve as an advocate for families pursuing international adoption.