What About Commitment?

Let’s face it. The majority of romance readers, including me, prefer a happy ending. But does that mean  the “fuzzy feelings” last?

Of course, anyone who has fallen in love and had a romantic relationship, whether short term or long term, married or not, knows that … no, the “fuzzy feelings” do not last long term, and … “happily ever after” doesn’t mean there will be no bumps in the road or struggles to overcome.

So, does a happy ending in a romance novel require “happily ever after”?

I don’t think so. But I do think our romance stories are missing an important piece. How does a couple remain “in love” for the long haul? They take their wedding vows – their commitment to each other – seriously, and they don’t give up during the difficult times.

What happened to commitment in our society? Sadly, our world has become a place where we get most of what we want quickly and easily, and this has bred expectations for quick and easy satisfaction in every aspect of life. Also, with the high divorce rate and many churches now accepting divorce, I think too many people go into marriage with the idea that “if it doesn’t work out, there’s always divorce”.

Commitment isn’t really talked about in today’s society or in many marriage ceremonies. Could Christian Romance authors possibly have an effect on today’s society or make them start thinking more about commitment again? I believe we have a responsibility to try. 

I believe we need to give commitment more of a spotlight in our fiction.

I’m not saying, “forget the romance”, but let’s show what commitment means. Imagine having your male and female main characters experiencing some conflict in their relationship. Of course, every story has to have some conflict.

But what would happen if we showed our hero thinking about how much he really loves this woman, in the midst of the conflict, and show his willingness to do the hard work—to find a way to work out the conflict and show he’s in this relationship for the long haul. Or, you can do the same through the female character or, better yet, through both characters.

I know every woman loves a warm, fuzzy, feel-good romance story, but I think there is a place for romance stories to include some of those fuzzy feelings while being more realistic. I believe showing how a relationship can actually last for many years because of the commitment of one or both people can add something to the story – something that will not only surprise the reader, but also give them inspiration, encouragement, and hope in their own relationship.

If you’ve seen the 2008 movie, “Fireproof” starring Kirk Cameron, you know what I’m talking about.

That movie, and Kirk’s insistence to have his real life wife be the one he kissed in the movie, instead of the actress playing that role, was a powerful example of commitment. There must be a need for such stories as that movie grossed $6,836,036 in its opening weekend and went on to gross over $33 million dollars in the box office and over an estimated $50 million in DVD sales. It also inspired couples to try the “Love Dare” to save their own marriages.

This doesn’t mean that if you write a good love story emphasizing commitment, you’re guaranteed a best seller, but your story may inspire some woman or some couple to value the importance of commitment in their relationship.

Kelly F. Barr lives in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. She is married and has three sons. She writes historical romance. She has also been a blogger for ten years, and every Friday, you can find her Flash Fiction stories posted for your reading pleasure. She loves her family, including the family dog, books, walks, and chai lattes.

You can find her online at:

Website: kellyfbarr.com

MeWe: KellyBarr8